The Pumpkin Rule!

Can you sense my excitement beaming through every crack of this title?  Exclamation points don’t get thrown around lightly in this blog, but the Pumpkin Rule is easily an exception.


Okay back on point… As you may have guessed, the Pumpkin Rule is autumn’s answer to the Watermelon Rule, which required me to have fresh watermelon on hand at all times.  Now, to get the most out of fall, it’s pumpkin I’ll be eating every day.  I officially bought my first one of the season today, but being that I’ve never actually cooked fresh pumpkin before (you cook it right?) I have my work cut out for me in figuring out how to consume this thing.

But where’s this excitement coming from, you ask?  What’s causing this uncharacteristic flutter in my once all-business prose?  It’s this – pumpkin may share similarities with watermelon (embodying their respective seasons, being burdensomely large, etc.) but it also has one very important difference: the Jack-o’-Lantern.  And if I’m rifling through a pumpkin a week, that means I get to carve a hell of a lot of Jack-o’-Lanterns this season.  Just look at the numbers…

  • My estimated previous record for most pumpkins carved in a single season: 3
  • Projected number of pumpkins I’ll carve this fall: 10

With a percentage increase of over 200 in pumpkins carved, it’s hard not to be excited by the implications of this new rule.


Let it out, friend.


But there’s more!  Because I live in a small apartment, there’s no logical place to put these Jack-O’-Lanterns.  They can’t be kept inside, there’s no steps or stoop outside to sit them on, no windowsill big enough either.  The answer?  Every week I’ll put up a new pumpkin somewhere in the neighborhood.  I’m guessing they won’t last very long before being destroyed, but it will be a social experiment documenting what happens to these things.  Besides, even if they don’t survive long enough to spark seasonal spirit, at least whoever smashes them will enjoy some element of catharsis.

People helping people… that’s what the pumpkin rule is really about.  The first carving’s tomorrow morning.  If you couldn’t tell, I’m looking forward to it.


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