This week was a big one for me – my first real attempt at brewing my own beer! I was incredibly given two home-brew kits from my girlfriend and sister for Christmas, and I officially put them to use with Brooklyn Brew Shop’s Chocolate Maple Porter (how good does that sound?) BBS has a great website with a lot of helpful videos and instructions for homebrewing, so I figure I don’t need to walk you through it. Instead, I was so compelled by the spirit of King Gambrinus that I put the whole process to poetry. Enjoy!
It all starts with a heap of grain,
a metal pot, an oven-range,
And disinfectant sprayed on every
single thing in sight.
You get the water nice and hot,
then add the malt and stir the pot,
With eyes on the thermometer
to keep the level right.
In just about an hour you’ll find
the barley that had entered dry
Has taken water, now with the
consistency of grits.
Of course, the juice is what we need
to turn this porridge into mead.
So strain the grain from where is came
but don’t dispose of it!
The reason this is not refuse
is due to all the tasty juice
That clings between the kernels, acting
as a sticky sheath.
But all you have to do is pour
another pot of water o’er
The barley, rinsing off the sugars
to collect beneath.
Accumulating at your feet
should be a liquid, dark and sweet,
Possessing all the goodness that
the barley had to bare.
But beer should be a balancing
of bitterness and saccharine.
So boil the wort with hops and let
the scent perfume the air.
And so you have what now should be
a gallon of this barley tea
(About a quart evaporated
as the boil rolled.)
At last we’re ready for the stage
enlisting nature’s tiny mage:
The yeast will take the reigns and slowly
magic will unfold.
So in a jug combine the wort
and yeast to chemic’ly convert
The simple liquid to a more
And once it is, and all is done
the hardest yet is still to come.
‘Cause all there is to do is wait,
and wait, and wait, and wait…