Deeper issues lie within the context of this post. Issues like the criteria for culinary authenticity. Issues like the death of culture at the hands of convenience. Issues like the black magic behind the science of the microwave.
They’ll have to wait, though. The same time crunch that led to that sandwich (which is awesome by the way… microwaving eggs is easy and totally works) is bearing down on this entry. Just take my word for it: with a bowl and some Pam you can have a sandwich-friendly egg patty waiting for you by the time you finish brushing your teeth.
1. Put your bread in the toaster.
2. Get a bowl. Spray it.
4. Crack in a couple eggs.
5. Microwave for 2 minutes.
6. Grab ketchup from the fridge. Throw out egg shells.
7. Pop! Beep!